Blog Assignment #3
Slow reaction on the climate change.
The last couple of years the awareness of climate change has increased and became top priority among politicians round the world. As an ordinary human being at grass roots level it might seem a little bit late for the politicians to react on the climate change. Why has it been such a slow reaction on this important issue?
I think one of the reasons why the message has been slow in coming across is that politicians didn’t have sufficient knowledge on the subject from the beginning and that they had other priorities on the political agenda such as world peace and world hunger. But since the climate change seems to accelerate they have had to react. Scientists increasingly alarming reports about how the world feels has led to that politicians realized the importance of climate discussions. The Prime Minister of Sweden, Fredrik Reinfeldt, said just before he was elected in 2006 that the environmental issue was not on his party’s agenda. I know his party now has the environmental issue on its agenda. Maybe he also regrets what he said to the reporter.
Another additional reason why the awareness of the earth's condition has gone so slow is, from my view economic factors. There is greed, at least among one group of people in the world that exceeds the fear that the earth will be destroyed if we don’t do something about it. They are not a large group. They are the owners of industries handling with fossil fuels. Once, I was at a lecture about this, where the lecturer said that the individual environmental selective waste collection didn’t contribute to environmental improvement unless those who handled with fossil fuels stopped doing that since emissions of fossil fuels is affecting the environment most negative. His suggestion was that ordinary people should stop using fossil fuels. Then we would force those who work with fossil fuels to stop that which would contribute to a better environment.
Finally, I believe that it is in human nature to “bury our heads in the sand” (as we say in Sweden) which also affect the level of awareness on climate change. I think we have a difficulty to understand that the state of the world can change for the worse because our brains can’t imagine it. We have a belief that the world should remain as it always has been. Otherwise, I can’t explain why we don’t listen more to the experts. For it may well not be that the truth is that we are less intelligent than we think?
Britt-Marie Melin
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Hi Britt-Marie,
SvaraRaderaI just loved reading your blog! You write very well, your thoughts are clear and your language is just wonderful (wish I could write that way!)!
I have trouble finding anything to give you chriticism on, but maybe this sentence "Maybe he also regrets what he said to the reporter."... It's a bit unclear, maybe it would be "better" to write "...said to the reporter at that time.", just to claryfy what you mean?? I only took it to have something to say other than, wow! :-)
Keep up the good work...I REALLY enjoyed reading your informative blog, thank you!
/Linda
Dear Britt-Marie,
SvaraRaderaThank you for your thoughts on the subject of climate change! You address the topic properly and the text is nicely structured: the introduction reveals what you will write about, and the topic is clearly stated in the thesis statement at the end of the introductory paragraph. Also, each of the three paragraphs in the body of the text relate to the thesis statement. Each paragraph has a topic sentence which tells the reader what the paragraph will be about. However, you might want to consider making your topic sentences a bit shorter and down to the point next time, in order to facilitate for the reader.
In paragraph 2, you deal with the insufficient knowledge among politicians about the state of the environment. The third paragraph deals with greed taking the upper hand of environmentally-friendly politics. Maybe you could have pointed out the link between paragraphs 2 and 3, since I guess the “greedy” people you refer to might have rather an influence on political decisions in some countries... I also think that you could have had a slightly broader perspective in the third paragraph, since I guess it’s not only industries handling fossil fuels that bring about climate change. The fourth and concluding paragraph deals with peoples’ tendency to think that things will sort themselves out. I rather like the way you end things by questioning our intelligence!
When it comes to transitional devices, your topic sentences take on a linking function in that they enumerate things. You also, use other methods, e.g. in the introductory paragraph, where you refer to climate change as “this important issue”, and by using pronouns. Still, I think you could try to make more use of transitional devices in order to improve your texts.
As to language, you have a few very long sentences that ought to be shortened, e.g. “Once, I was at a lecture about this, where the lecturer said that the individual environmental selective waste collection didn’t contribute to environmental improvement unless those who handled with fossil fuels stopped doing that since emissions of fossil fuels is affecting the environment most negative.” Don’t forget to use an apostrophy to indicate the genitive (e.g. in “Scientists’ increasingly alarming reports”). Make sure to avoid “that” after a preposition, as in “has led to that politicians realized”. Also, think about subject-verb agreement in “it is in human nature to “bury our heads in the sand” (as we say in Sweden) which also affect the level of awareness”, where you need to say “affects”. Lastly, I don’t really get whatt you mean by the following: “it may well not be”. Do you want to say “It couldn’t be that the truth is..., could it?”? As to word choice, you can’t really say “how the world feels” since the earth is not animate.
Looking forward to reading another of your blogs!
Marika
Hi Britt-Marie
SvaraRaderaThank you for a good time in front of the computer, reading your blog. I think your way of writing shows that you are quite good at this. It's easy and interesting to read. The language you use is advanced, but not difficult.
I think it is a well structured text that follows the criterias for a Casual Analysis.
You have a well written presentation of the trend. Nice paragraphs where your suggestions of reasons are clear. You also write why you think it is like this. (Support for the causes presented). What can I say?? It is good, very good.
Thank you again!
See you next time at the University.
/Annelie